Since the shift to 40hr work weeks, one benefit Jamie and I have enjoyed is the fact that I get ALL holidays off – the first time in 8 years. Needless to say it’s been great getting to spend good time with family over the last four days of Thanksgiving without having to run off to work.

Today Jamie and I watched Irving Berlin’s White Christmas (1954), one of her favorites growing up. I love movies like this. For years, my family has traditionally watched It’s a Wonderful Life on Thanksgiving night. Old movies seem to capture so much of what we seem to have forgotten about life lessons, family, and people.

What are your favorite classic Christmas movies?

How do you measure success? What’s something that you have accomplished, whether big or small, that you consider a success? What struggles did you overcome to achieve it?

“A successful person is one who can lay a firm foundation with the bricks that others throw at him or her.”

I have a dear friend who I’ve known since middle school who taught me a good lesson years ago. She and I had expressed some differences on some issues and sort of gotten into a heated discussion. I mean this was one of those deals where several people were involved and angry (because teenager problems in middle school and high school are just SO big aren’t they…) and people were starting to take sides within the group. Over time, my friend began feeling that she was of the minority and began to retract. Foolishly in my anger, I jumped on the “Blame Train” with all those opposed to her — those who spoke harshly about her when she wasn’t around. Choo-Choo!! In came the Train to take us all to “Makemyselffeelbettercausewe’rerightandshe’swrongville” and before you know it I was fueling the momentum with words of fiery coal about my friend. I was angry. And it made me look better to agree with everyone else. I felt bad afterward, but I thought she wouldn’t find out what I said… I was wrong.

Several days or weeks later, my friend approached me to kindly return the knife I had stuck in her back. She was calm, loving. She told me about how she was dealing with a lot of different things in her life at the time, and that she was surprised that I had said some of the things I had said. She thought that out of everyone involved, I would’ve been the one to not participate in the bashing. She expressed to me through tears how much it hurt her to hear the things I had said in my anger. How much it hurt that in a time when she needed me to be a friend, I abandoned her. I have never felt so small in my life.

To be honest, I don’t even remember what was said or what the disagreement was in the first place. It doesn’t matter. But I realized at that point that talking about other people behind their back is NEVER beneficial. And I realized that when I have an issue with someone – especially someone I consider a friend – I’m going TO THAT PERSON about it. I will confront. I will speak to that person tactfully and respectfully about my concerns, and then give them the opportunity to do the same. What’s the worst that can happen? They could be unreceptive to it. They could blow me off. But at that point, at least I have done my part and the ball is then in their court. It’s not always easy, but it eliminates the alternative.

It bugs the crap out of me when people are so willing make their own conclusions about me or someone else without having all the facts. They take a bit of information, spin it how they see it, and run with it to anyone who will listen, which is pretty much everyone, because we love drama… Do me a favor; a courtesy if you will: If you have an issue with me, see me doing something I shouldn’t, disagree with me about something, or just plain don’t like me, COME TO ME WITH IT! I promise you I will respect you a ton more than if you don’t do that — because I can guarantee one thing: if you don’t come to me, you do NOT have ALL of the information, and therefore, do NOT have to right to speak on it to others. Moses brought it when he said in Exodus, “Do not spread false reports. Do not help a wicked man by being a malicious witness. Do not follow the crowd in doing wrong.”

Do you want a test of someone’s character? Pay attention to how your friends talk about your other friends when they’re not around. Do they speak well of them? Do they speak negatively?

Let’s take it up a notch: do you want a test of YOUR character? Pay attention to how you respond to your friends. Do you join in? When I’m standing in a group of people who speak harshly about someone in their absence, I can’t help but ask myself, “how do they talk about me when I’m not around?” Chances are, it’s the same. Think about it! It only makes sense! How arrogant am I to think that I’m so flawless that no one talks about me that way?

I write this as a challenge to you as well as myself. I don’t want to be that guy – I want people to know that they can trust me with sensitive information. I want people to know that I respect them enough to go to the source and not everyone else. It’s a work in progress. I’ve come a long way since I hurt my friend years ago, and seeing that hurt in her and people close to me now makes me sick. It makes me wish we wouldn’t take the easy way out and jump on the Train.

A little more than three years ago, a friend of mine informed me that another mutual friend had spoken very harshly about my new girlfriend and me (now my wife). It angered me. I had a choice. I could remain angry, believe everything I had heard and never speak to her again, or I could confront her. I chose the latter. After not speaking for a week or so, I sent her a text that said simply, “Hey. I love you. We should talk.” She agreed and we met in person when she was off work. I explained to her what I had been told, and how it had hurt Jamie and I. She was as surprised to hear it as I was! She quickly corrected the situation with what she had actually said, apologized for the misunderstanding, and the rumors were eliminated. I think back on that and wonder what would have happened had I chosen not to confront my friend. She and her husband are now one of our favorite couples to be around!

Think how much better we’d all be if we died to ourselves more often and paid attention to what someone else may need. A need we might be able to meet. Sure, causes are great and people all over the world need help. But in addition, don’t look past the guy you work with. The guy you live next door to. The guy who works for you. Regardless of successes or flaws, we’re all people with needs.

Trey, I challenge you to COMMUNICATE. I challenge you to LEARN. I challenge you to INVEST. In the words of Voddie Baucham, “more today than yesterday, more tomorrow than today.”  I personally am not always good at it, but I’m getting better. Are you?

Anyway, the whole experience today was fun. Good to see and talk to some familiar faces I haven’t seen in awhile.

Geez, I can do this from my phone! Why am I not all over it! I’m a slacker. Getting better. See you soon.

Our roles on these are pretty straight forward: she’s the visionary…

Lists are her forte. She can bust out a list like no other. I think it’s a female thing.

Then I come in. I’m the Focusizer. Frosted Mini Wheat Man thinks he is, but he got the idea from me. You could call me the Regulator also. As you can see there’s a lot to be done. Somewhat overwhelming right?? Oh no, not when you have the REGULATORRRR. …mount up. I point in a direction, start there, and we don’t come back to the list until that one is done. Simple enough. I’m good at it. (plus it makes it easier on the wallet…)

So the first order of business, hereby declared by the Regulator:

The kitchen cabinets. They’re too light. I’ve actually never been crazy about them myself, but then again, I’ve been a bachelor all this time – what do I care??

So she stepped up and came strong to the hole. We’re gonna paint them a much darker color. There’ll be progress posted on here as we go. Hopefully they’ll be done in just a couple of days. Stay with us…

That’s the first major project. We also were led to Kirkland’s last week (thanks to Jamie’s sister-in-law Colleen) for a pretty good sale they were having. “What’s Kirkland’s?” I asked. I found out. That day. And I’m happy to report that we were able to rack up on some pretty cool stuff to go around the house at sale prices. Saving money — always a plus!

Mirror to go over fireplace

random things to go in the kitchen

Will go over the front door after painting.

Let’s get it on! We’ll see how it all turns out. Then we’ll go back to the list and do something else. Watch us!

I think yesterday served to move me closer toward at least feeling a little like Christmas. I’ve been thoroughly blessed to have engaged into quite a large family on Jamie’s side. And fortunately they are really good about getting together on all the major holidays and making a big party out of it. I come from a fairly small family so until now I’ve never been exposed to “large family” traditions and stuff. Don’t get me wrong — my family definitely has our traditions, but it has been really cool to get to experience the large family gathering for the past couple of years.  

We started yesterday with the only appropriate event — the food. Turkey, ham, macaroni and cheese, dressing, green beans, rolls, black-eye peas, gravy and a big ol thang o sweet tea. Topped off with more desserts than you can imagine. I was a bad boy with the eating… It was all so good. Following the food was coffee and the White Elephant Gift game, which got a little cut-throat at times. Then we experienced the best game of Jenga I have ever witnessed. Props to Buddy, Jeremy, and Wes for completing 35 levels!!! (for those of you who don’t know, that’s pretty good). Battle of the Sexes Pictionary (house rules) was next, and of course, the men won by a LONG SHOT.

And of course the eating continued throughout. (by the way I ran four miles after I got home — I couldn’t stand it)

I guess I say all that to say that I think family is key to this time of year. Everyone has their different opinions of the reason for Christmas. And of course the ultimate answer is to celebrate the coming of Christ in the flesh, to be an example of love for each and every one of us. I think the example of Christ’s love is carried out in family. It’s how He intended it. There’s something about a group, a team, of people who all share something in common, and are drawn to each other because of that bond. That bond, over time, and if nurtured, gradually becomes more and more unbreakable because it stands through time test after test after test. Jesus stood the ultimate test — defeated death — so that you and I could live. That is his gift. That is his love. Forever. And for that I am forever thankful.

I encourage you all to give something this Christmas. Sure we’ll all give someone a gift of some sort that may or may not cost us money, because it’s expected. But I encourage everyone to seek out someone that you can give to in a  situation in which it’s not expected. It can be as big or as little as you deem appropriate. It can be something physical or something else. It can be time. It can be anonymous or not. Whatever. Find a need. Meet it. See what happens. I’m sure that the recipient will be forever thankful.

Start to nurture family. I think if the world — the nation — the state — the community — I — do that, we’ll be amazed at how we can make a difference in our environment.

Jamie’s family has been gracious to accept me into their team as one of their own. And for that I am forever thankful.

Captain J A Hadfield quoted: “This art of resting the mind and the power of dismissing from it all care and worry is probably one of the secrets of energy in our great men.”

Not to say that I’m a great man — some might consider that arrogant. But if it’s true that the “great men” hold that secret, then maybe I’m on my way???

More words of interest to me today: “The trouble with weather forecasting is that it’s right too often for us to ignore it and wrong too often for us to rely on it.”   –Patrick Young

My Creator has a great sense of humor….before I have even finished this post, the sun is beaming through my front window…

One thing I learned today — when in Rome, Fuddruckers tastes better than when in Snellville. I happened to eat the burger of Fudd twice today. The first time (lunch) was quite the tasty “$100 hamburger.” The second (dinner) was not as good, food wise. Had nothing to do with the company — actually the company on the second go-round was better (apologies to Charlie and Poe, but Jamie is so much more gorgeous than both of you…I could look at her all day)

Flying again tomorrow. Jamie and I may head south to St Simon’s Island if weather permits.